Stillwater Black came together in 1991 when Chris Thayer met Ahmed and Sam Pierstorff while playing in the pit band for a high school musical production. Issac McCorkell was quickly recruited on drums and the band recorded its first EP, The Last Virtuous Lady of Athens.

In 1995 they signed with Cleaves Entertainment, a now-defunct independent label based out of Southern California's Inland Empire. Stillwater Black recorded their debut LP, Adam. They played frequently with local and national acts including Dishwalla, Save Ferris, Reel Big Fish, and IE punk/ska mainstays, The Skeletones.

In 1997 the members parted ways and the project lay dormant for two decades.

Monday, November 20, 2017

The rock life chose me

Twenty years ago we had a record deal. We had a road crew. We had merchandise. And we had dreams of traveling the countryside and sharing music and good times with as many people as possible.

At the time, it felt like a wonderful recipe for perpetual adoration. Who doesn't love to be loved?

But that kind of adoration, that kind of superficial, transient appreciation of one's art and not necessarily one's person, isn't helpful in any of the big ways. It's nice and it can be intense, but it doesn't last. It does little to elevate either the adoring or the adored. Quite the opposite. Its fruit is little more than entitlement and narcissism.

So when the opportunity came to experience a different kind of love and adoration, something that, at the outset, felt more perfect, more healing, I jumped at it.

This came to me in the form of religion. And a woman. Years of hauling gear in and out of trucks, playing one bar after another, hustling to get as many people out to each show as possible- all of that paled against the promise of holy matrimony and blessed domesticity.

I got religion and I got married. But I have issues and the marriage went to shit in a hurry.

With no band and no woman, my religious life only became more important. And after a bit, I found another woman, this one more religious than myself. Now I could finally settle into marital bliss, have some kids, and grow old.


But again. Those issues.

So fifteen years and four beautiful daughters later, that also went to shit.

I just got back from New York. I go every month to see my daughters because that's where their mother took them. I fought it, as any good man would, and I lost almost everything in the process.

I say almost everything, because although my family is gone, my money is gone, and my heart is broken, I still have my issues.

And while my issues do not appear to serve me very well in my romantic relationships, they serve my art beautifully.

Brothers and sisters- I am incapable of being anything other than a rock star.

Ruined, I no longer fear your adoration.

ps:

I shared this with Chris who helped me to realize that the absence of fear is only the beginning of healing into an acceptance of my present state. To leave it there is to numb myself to possibilities that might exist were I to view my situation with more bravery than apathy.

In many ways, this is the point of collaborative creation. Alone, we don't see the pitfalls of our creative process. As a band, we stand a better chance of seeing, avoiding, or, in this case, helping each other out of those very dark holes.

2 comments:

  1. This reminds me of a song, "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons. It's your time brother.

    "So this is what you meant
    When you said that you were spent
    And now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit, right to the top
    Don't hold back
    Packing my bags and giving the Academy a rain check

    I don't ever want to let you down
    I don't ever want to leave this town
    Cause after all
    This city never sleeps at night

    It's time to begin, isn't it?
    I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit
    I'm just the same as I was
    Now don't you understand
    I'm never changing who I am

    So this is where you fell
    And I am left to sell
    The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell right to the top
    Don't look back
    Turning to rags and giving the commodities a rain check

    I don't ever want to let you down
    I don't ever want to leave this town
    Cause after all
    This city never sleeps at night

    It's time to begin, isn't it?
    I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit
    I'm just the same as I was
    Now don't you understand
    I'm never changing who I am"

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    Replies
    1. I haven't listened to the song yet, but these lyrics really speak to me, especially this:

      "The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell"

      Your feedback is much appreciated, Abby! Salam and blessings!

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